To Be a Bride of Valor

Book, inkjet print 2025

I turn on the light in my room, and close the door
It always starts with a feeling of loneliness
I retreat inward and try to get as far away from the world as I can
I begin to hang fabric, it’s always wrinkled, never quite looks right

Each time, I create a dress
Everything is temporary, improvised, precise for the moment
Delicate lace, glitter, itchy fabric,
Something that feels like a bride – but not quite

The preparation takes hours
The makeup has already become shiny
The hair is pinned up and then falls
The body adjusts to the fabric’s shell
I stand before the mirror
See myself take shape

I am a bride in the moment before
And this is a ceremony without an audience
A personal, repetitive, addictive ritual
Even when I’m tired, even when I’m sad
I return to that place